Space Jam/Trailer transcripts

Teaser Trailer
Narrator (Don LaFontaine): Stay in your seats. Please don't panic. We interrupt your entertainment for a shocking announcement. As of November 15, the world will never be the same.

[In a tunnel, Michael is being dragged further down into the tunnel as his screams echo through the tunnel. His lips flap as he sees the Warner Bros. Pictures logo ahead, he went through it. He is in Looney Tune Land. He flies down from the sky and into their town. He crashes down onto the ground. Then the other Tunes show up.]

Porky Pig: [Pulling out a pencil and autograph book] Eh, pardon me, Mr. Jordan. Eh, could I have your auto...your John Hancock, please?

Michael Jordan: What's going on here?

Bugs Bunny: WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!

Pound: You've heard of the dream team? Well, we're the mean team.

Micheal Jordan: You ready?

Looney Tunes Gang: Yeah!

Bill Murray: Duck?

Daffy: Yes.

Bill Murray: You go to the hole and dominate.

Michael Jordan: Bill, we're on defense.

Bugs Bunny and Lola Bunny: (Agreeing with Michael) Oh yeah.

Bill Murray: Whoa, ho, ho, I don't play defense.

Narrator (Don LaFontaine): Warner Bros. presents Jordan.

Micheal Jordan (Calling out): Bugs! (Passes him the ball)

Narrator (Don LaFontaine): Bunny.

Bugs Bunny: Special delivery. (Throws the ball)

Narrator (Don LaFontaine): Together, they just might save the world. "Space Jam". You've never seen anything like it.

(Bugs kisses Michael Jordan's lips)

November 15. Get ready to jam at a theater near you.

Theatrical Trailer #1
Narrator (Don LaFontaine): When the world's greatest athlete, Michael Jordan teams up with the world's best loved cartoon character Bugs Bunny, you won't believe your eyes.

[In a tunnel, Michael is being dragged further down into the tunnel as his screams echo through the tunnel. His lips flap as he sees the Warner Bros. Pictures logo ahead, he went through it. He is in Looney Tune Land. He flies down from the sky and into their town. He crashes down onto the ground. Then the other Tunes show up.]

Porky Pig: [Pulling out a pencil and autograph book] Eh, pardon me, Mr. Jordan. Eh, could I have your auto...your John Hancock, please?

Michael Jordan: What's going on here?

Bugs Bunny: WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!

Pound: You've heard of the dream team? Well, we're the mean team.

Micheal Jordan: You ready?

Looney Tunes Gang: Yeah!

Bill Murray: Duck?

Daffy: Yes.

Bill Murray: You go to the hole and dominate.

Michael Jordan: Bill, we're on defense.

Bugs Bunny and Lola Bunny: (Agreeing with Michael) Oh yeah.

Bill Murray: Whoa, ho, ho, I don't play defense.

Narrator (Don LaFontaine): Warner Bros. presents Jordan.

Micheal Jordan (Calling out): Bugs! (Passes him the ball)

Narrator (Don LaFontaine): Bunny.

Bugs Bunny: Special delivery. (Throws the ball)

Narrator (Don LaFontaine): Together, they just might save the world. "Space Jam". You've never seen anything like it.

(Bugs kisses Michael Jordan's lips)

Theatrical Trailer #2
Jim Cummings: In the deepest reaches of space, a sinister force prepares an invasion and all that stands between the world and disaster...

Bugs Bunny: Eh, you were expecting maybe the Easter Bunny?

Jim Cummings: ...is a rabbit, a duck, a doll...

Bugs: Hey!

Jim Cummings: ...and a bull. Not that bull...

Stan Podolak: Smile, OK?

Jim Cummings: ...this bull.

(Michael puts his hand in the golf hole and smiles for the camera. Then a rope appears from the hole and grabs Michael's wrist, it pulls him down the hole, making him lose his hat and one of his shoes. Michael is being dragged further down into the tunnel as his screams echo through the tunnel. His lips flap as he sees the Warner Bros. Pictures logo ahead, he went through it. Stan, Bill, and Larry get confused, Stan looks from the hole and to the camera.)

Bill Murray: What kind of camera is that?

(He flies down from the sky and into the Looney Tune Land. He crashes down onto the ground.)

Michael Jordan: What's going on here?

Bugs Bunny: [Jumps on Michael's lap] I thought you'd never ask.

(A laser zap hits Bugs, the trees and grass around him die, the sky turns red. The road around turns it into a hole.)

Nawt: Don't move a muscle.

Bugs Bunny: You see these aliens come from outer space, and they wanna make us slaves. So we challenged them to a basketball game.

Pound: You've heard of the dream team? Well, we're the mean team.

Bugs Bunny: Eh, what I'm trying to say is... [Shouting] WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!

Bill Murray: Perhaps, I could be of some assistance.

Jim Cummings: On November 15th, get ready to run, get ready to hit,

Stan Podolak: The Monstars... stole the talent from the NBA players!

Jim Cummings: Get ready to slam.

Ahmad Rashad: 5 NBA players all suffering from the same mysterious ailment.

Jim Cummings: Get ready to jam.

Mr. Swackhammer: But what if we win?

Michael Jordan: You get me.

Jim Cummings: Warner Bros.

Michael Jordan: How about we go out and kick some alien butt huh?

Looney Tunes Gang: Yeah!

Jim Cummings: Invites you...

Marvin: Ready? (whistle blows)

(The Monstars show him their teeth about to hurt Tweety. Tweety had enough of getting picked on and he lets a karate yell and attacks them. The Looney Tunes gang look at Tweety)

Tweety: Sorry.

Jim Cummings: ...to enter a world beyond any you've ever imagined.

(A fishing pole swungs and catches Pound's shorts and pulled them off. Blanko looks at Pound shocked, Pound stops and sees that his shorts are gone and he's butt-naked.)

Pound: [Covering his shorts with his jersey] Hey! What the-- [Smiling and blushing with embarrassment]

Lola: [Taunting Pound] Nice butt!

Jim Cummings: Michael Jordan, Bugs Bunny, and the best of the NBA.

Bill Murray: Duck?

Daffy: Yes.

Bill Murray: You go to the hole and dominate.

Michael Jordan: Bill, we're on defense.

Bugs Bunny and Lola Bunny: (Agreeing with Michael) Oh yeah.

Bill Murray: Whoa, ho, ho, I don't play defense.

Jim Cummings: Space Jam, an Ivan Reitman comedy of epic proportions.

Sniffles: I love basketball. Try your best in everything you-

(Before Sniffles could finish, Blanko drops the ball on him which causes the crowd to gasp in shock. Bugs kisses Michael Jordan's lips)

Jim Cummings: Only in theaters November 15th. Directed by Joe Pytka.