Shrek Forever After/Quotes

Here are quotes from the 2010 DreamWorks animated feature Shrek Forever After.


 * Shrek: [singing] Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall
 * All you got to do is call.
 * And I’ll be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
 * You got a friend.




 * [As Rumpelstiltskin angrily scrunches up a page from a library book about Shrek]
 * Pinocchio: Uh… sir, you’re gonna have to pay for that.
 * Rumpelstiltskin: Uh… M-m-maybe we can make a deal for it, little boy?
 * Pinocchio: Oh, I’m not a real boy.
 * Rumpel: [looking devious] Do you (really) wanna be? [Cut to Pinocchio kicking him out]
 * Pinoochio: Nobody needs your deals anymore, Grumple Stinkypants! (But thanks anyway.)
 * Rumpelstiltskin: [coughs] I wish that ogre… was never born.


 * Donkey: Man, you are a ‘cat-tastrophe’.
 * Puss: And you, are ‘ri-donkey-lous’.
 * [Both laugh]


 * Donkey: Why don’t you just tell her what you told me? You know, about how you’re her true love and you came from an alternate universe.
 * Shrek: Oh, and while I’m at it, why don’t I tell her that you’re married to a fire breathing dragon and you have little mutant donkey-dragon babies?
 * Donkey: I do?
 * Shrek: You saw what happened, she’s going to think I’m crazy.
 * Donkey: [Not listening] I’m a daddy?
 * Shrek: You know what? If I got Fiona to kiss me once… then I can do it again.


 * Fiona: Unbelievable.
 * Shrek: Tell me about it! Those villagers are s–
 * Fiona: I’m not talking about the villagers, Shrek. I’m talking about you. Is this really how you want to remember the kids’ first birthday?
 * Shrek: Oh, great. So this is all my fault.
 * Fiona: Yes, but… you know what? Let’s talk about this after the party, at home.
 * Shrek: Oh, you mean that roadside attraction we live in? "Step right up! See the dancing ogre! Don’t worry! He won’t bite!" I used to be an ogre. Now I’m just a jolly green joke!
 * Fiona: Okay, okay. Maybe you’re not the ogre you used to be, but maybe that’s not such a bad thing.
 * Shrek: Ah, I wouldn’t expect you to understand. It’s not like you’re a real ogre. You spent half your life in a palace.
 * Fiona: And the other half locked away in a tower.
 * Shrek: [sighs] Look, all I want is for things to go back to the way they used to be! Back when villagers were afraid of me, and I can take a mud bath in peace. When I can do what I wanted, when I wanted to do it! Back when the world made sense!
 * Fiona: You mean back before you rescued me from the Dragon’s Keep?
 * Shrek: Exactly!
 * Fiona: Shrek, you have 3 beautiful children… a wife who loves you… (and…) friends who adore you. You have everything. Why is it the only person who can’t see that… is you?


 * Shrek: Hello… Fiona? [meets the obese Puss]
 * Puss: You should not be here… senor.
 * Shrek: Puss…? [Puss is now fat (and a bit soft)] (Oh, boy.) You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me.
 * Puss: Feed me, if you dare.
 * Shrek: Puss, what happened to you?! You got so fa… [Puss gives him a look] Fa-ancy!
 * Puss: Do I know you?
 * Shrek: Well, where’s your hat? Where’s your belt? [gasps softly] Your wee little boots?
 * Puss: Ha! Boots, for a cat? [laughs]
 * Shrek: But you’re Puss in Boots. (Are you?)
 * Puss: Maybe once, but that is a name I have outgrown.
 * Shrek: That’s not the only thing you’ve outgrown. (No offense.)
 * Puss: Hey, I may have let myself go a little since retirement, but hanging up my sword was the best decision of my life! I have all the cream I can drink and all the mice I can chase. [a mouse runs up to his bowl and starts drinking out of it] Eh, I’ll get him later. [starts drinking out of the bowl himself]
 * Shrek: Oh, Puss, what have I done to you? You’ve gone soft.
 * Puss: Well… I get brushed twice a day.


 * Rumpel: So… you’re not gonna eat me?
 * Shrek: No, thanks. I already had a big bowl of curly-toed weirdo for breakfast.


 * Shrek: Stop! Where are you going?
 * Fiona: To save my friends.
 * Shrek: How, by getting yourself killed?
 * Fiona: If that’s what it takes.
 * Shrek: Puss, say something.
 * Fiona: Puss?
 * Puss: L-let me explain.
 * Fiona: So that’s how you knew so much about me!
 * Shrek: Fiona, wait! Kiss me!
 * Fiona: What?
 * Shrek: It’s the only way to save your friends!
 * Fiona: Get out of my way!
 * Shrek: You used to believe that a single kiss could solve everything! [Fiona turns around and reluctantly kisses him. However, when they’re done kissing, nothing happens] I don’t understand. This doesn’t make any sense! True love’s kiss was supposed to fix everything!
 * Fiona: Yeah. You know what? That’s what they told me too. True love didn’t get me out of that tower. I did! I saved myself! Don’t you get it? It’s all just a big fairy tale!
 * Shrek: Fiona, don’t say that! It does exist!
 * Fiona: Then how would you know? Did you grow up locked away in a dragon’s keep? Did you live all alone in a miserable tower? Did you cry yourself to sleep every night waiting for a true love that never came?!
 * Shrek: But… but… I’m your true love.
 * Fiona: Then where were you when I needed you? [turns and leaves]
 * Donkey: Maybe you kissed her… wrong?
 * Shrek: No. The kiss didn’t work… because Fiona doesn’t love me.


 * Puss: It seems that we are safe.
 * Donkey: Yeah, it looks a lot less picthforky and torchy out there. Let’s go.
 * Shrek: Oh, what’s the point? The kiss didn’t work. It’s over.
 * Donkey: Look, Shrek, I know things might seem a little bleak right now, but things always work themselves out in the end. You’ll see. Well, I’ll bet by this time tomorrow–
 * Shrek: Hey, don’t you understand? There is no tomorrow, there’s no day after that, and there’s no day after that day after that! My life was perfect and I’m never gonna get it back!
 * Donkey: Well, if your life was so perfect, then why did you sign it all the way to Rumpelstiltskin in the first place?
 * Shrek: Because I didn’t know what I had until it was gone, alright? [sighs] I didn’t know what I had.